Huh? What?!?

One summer afternoon I was driving with my children to run a few errands. It was the summer that Jay-Z released The Black Album - one of my favorite CDs. My children and I often sing along to the radio or CDs to make our commute fun and relaxing. Jay-Zs new single (at the time) queued up and I got into it.

"If you feelin like a pimp [ ], gone brush your shoulders off
Ladies is pimps too, gone brush your shoulders off
[ ] is crazy baby, don't forget that boy told you
Get back TURN UP YOUR SHOULDERS
you betta get, back turn up your shoulders"

I had my bank head bounce goin as I cruised down the street. My kids were in stitches. At first, I figured they were REALLY enjoying my performance (I can be quite animated) until my daughter asked me to repeat what I was saying.

"What?" I asked. Through tears of laughter she asked me again "Just sing the chorus one more time momma". I did.

"GET BACK, TURN UP YOUR SHOULDERS. What?" I was getting agitated at everyone heckling.

I could tell they were embarrassed for me as they chimed in unison "Momma, it's not turn up your shoulders" and continued mocking me. They rolled their shoulders up and backwards mimicking my dance moves. I frowned to signal my lack of appreciation for their taunting.

"Well what is it then?" my nose flared in disbelief. I had my matching dance and everything so I was confident THEY were mistaken. "Momma, its 'Get, that, dirt off your shoulder' listen..." they rewound the CD and let the chorus replay for me.

I'll be darned! Those kids were right.

Today's Inspiration

It is better to Listen than to Hear; For through Listening we may gain Wisdom

Sometimes, it can be particularly difficult to pay attention because the topic at hand is not high on our list of things to discuss. At other times, even when the dialogue is pleasant, we might find ourselves distracted from what we should focus on because our brains can process information much more quickly than one can speak.

Though it is not recommended, active listening, or listening for context clues is a common practice that can lead to misunderstandings, mixed messages and strained interactions. As dangerous as that may be though, tuning people out, over-talking or other condescending behavior (i.e., dismissing positions that conflict with our own) can cause even greater damage.

Those that go through life with an open mouth do so with a closed mind. Why? Because when we are speaking, we only regurgitate what we already know and believe (sometimes without basis).  Our sole objective is to be understood.  With such a mindset, we leave little room to learn, empathize or comprehend the message of those we converse with.

If we can train ourselves to listen with an open heart, we will condition our minds and mouths to follow suit.  Once we accept that listening is twice as valuable as speaking, it becomes easier to do so patiently.  The person speaking may recognize our effort and feel more compelled to share what is on their mind. If they do, we may be blessed with treasures of their knowledge and wisdom.  It also helps to instill a sense of value and mutual respect, both essential to building any strong relationship. 

Be encouraged to listen with a willing heart, a wide open mind and pursed lips.